Self confidence, as defined by the oxford dictionary is a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities and judgement. As a parent, I know that it is very important for my children to build their self confidence at an early stage because it will play a very significant role on my children’s success. They need to know who they are in the inside so that they will be strong enough to face life’s challenges that may come their way as they grow old.
They started learning about themselves from the moment they were born. At age 2, they started learning about their self worth from the perspective of other people. Like a sponge, they can easily absorb the words from their surroundings. That is why we, as parents are very careful with our words because words can make or break our children.
Last Sunday, during the Father’s Day Celebration in our church, Cathedral of Praise, Pastor Sumrall taught us about the role of a father in developing his children’s self confidence. I believe that self confidence is developed first at home so I am sharing this teaching with you today. There are six (6) things that kids must hear constantly to build their self confidence.
6 Things Our Kids Must Hear To Build Self Confidence
#1. You belong to me
Our children needs to hear that they belong to us and we are proud and happy to be their parents. They need to know that no matter what they do, they belong to us. The sense of belonging helps our children build a strong foundation of self growth and development.
”While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!” – Matthew 17:5
#2. You are loved
I love to tell my kids, “I love you” often. It makes them secured, feel important and it takes away their fear. My “I love you “empowers my children because they know that no matter what, I will always love them.
“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” – John 15:9
Of course, action speaks louder than words and so it is also important that this love is expressed by action. I always cuddle my children whenever and wherever. We always hug and kiss. I make sure that they feel loved so that they will know how to love others because they see us doing it to them. Being children, of course, they also do foolish things in which they end up getting spanked so that they will have that notion of not to do it again.
“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 13:11-12
#3. I am pleased with you
In every good thing that my kids are doing, I see to it that they are always complimented. I give them a “Good Job, Ate Belle or Good Job, Bonbon” compliment with a high five gesture. My kids love it! So they keep on doing good things because they want to hear me say “Good Job” or ” Very Good”. They love making me proud and happy because of them.
“As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and alighting on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” – Matthew 3:16-17
#4. I trust you
Our kids need to know that we trust them. They need our encouragement and belief that they can do it! To show my kids that I trust them, I am entrusting things to them as they grow. For example, our daughter, Belle, who is 4 years old helps me in making our bed every morning. I am involving her also in some of the small jobs in my business like counting the coins. My son, Bonbon, who is 2 years old, is in charge of switching off the little night light and he is very good in taking the shell out of their boiled eggs. I am giving them tasks, little by little as they grow and they like it. I think, they feel so accomplished and able every time they finished a task. This builds their self confidence in doing things.
“Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist.” – John 13:3-4
#5. I am listening
My children want to be listened to. They feel valuable and important. They like to know that I am interested to what they have to say. Sometimes, I get distracted from listening to them because of my cell phone or some other things that I am busy with but they are so assertive to tell me, “ Mama, I am talking to you.” It is so nice to listen to them because from their own words, I will know who they really are. I get to know their strengths and weaknesses, areas they need help and encouragement.
“A voice came from the cloud, saying, “This is my Son, whom I have chosen; listen to him.”– Luke 9:35
#6. I want to teach you
I am embracing the fact that I am my children’s first teacher who will teach and show them everything I know in life so that when I am gone, they know how to do things by themselves. God has given me the calling of training my children and pointing them to Him. I know that someday, my children will be far, far , far better than I am today.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
I know that all of us are good parents who love our kids and want them to succeed in life. But if you have not yet started developing your children’s self confidence, that is ok, you can start today. Always remember that love and discipline are the guiding forces of great parenting and God is the greatest model of all time when it comes to great parenting.
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